Just plain worn out...

This week has been crazy so much has been going on that I can only barely remember most of it now. Beth has been a hand full this weekend, she hasn't been listening to me very well, but that's ok I knew that she would get to this stage sooner or later, I just hope she grows out of it before the baby is born. I know that shes going to be jealous of the new baby for many various, but I hope that I can help her understand that her sister is a kind of gift, and not some one she should hate, its going to be hard but I know that with the help of my family I can get through it. I finally got all my stuff out of glens storage, actually what happened was I got tired of him dodging me and ignoring my calls about it so I left him a message telling him that I wanted to come get it this week end(while I had some help to get it all) and he showed up the next day with all of it, he even already went through and got all his stuff out of the boxes that had our things mixed...I plan on going through and seeing if anything has been taken that shouldn't have, however I also plan on getting rid of some things as well. I keep having these weird dreams they kind of freak me out a little, and I'm afraid if I talked to any one about them they would either make fun of me, or judge me, or something like that, in my dreams I'm getting ready for a date and my mom keeps asking me who I'm going out with but i just keep saying "you'll see" , when my date finally arrives I open the door, now this is were it gets a little weird, half the time Roger is standing at the door, when hes their mom looks at me stunned for a moment then shakes her head and says "if you think it will work what ever, but take it slow please" we agree and go on our date, the other half of the time Ryan is standing at the door, when its Ryan at the door mom is too shocked to say anything, and we leave to go on our date, now I don't know if that means anything or if its just the stress of life or something like that...if any one knows, I'd appreciate some insightful thought on the dream, any other weird dreams I have are of Danica and I know that those come from my fears and worry's of the pregnancy and what we may or may not have to go through after she is born due to her father, but I can handle that when the time comes. I keeps getting these headaches they just come out of no where, and last for hours then they are gone as fast as they came I don't know what the hell is going on their, I've been thinking about going to my Doctor and asking him what he thinks, but lord only knows what they'll do for me right now. I'm going to mention them to my OBGYN on my appointment on Thursday, but he may not have an answer for me. their has been so much going on with just me, on top of all the stuff going on in the life's of the people around me that I've just gotten to the point where I'm just plain tired a good vacation from the real world would be nice right about now, but I know that life is just gonna get more real in the next few months...just with it would give us all a rest for a min, so we can breath, to bad life doesn't work like that. oh well I guess for now ill just keep hoping for that break in the rain, and when it comes I'm going to enjoy the sun even if its only for a moment.

Trying to make sense of things...

I've been sitting on my couch/bed all weekend because I'm supposed to be taking it easy so as to give my body time to heal from an infection in my bladder, we found out I had this infection because we went into the ER early Thursday morning because I was cramping very badly, they of course tested for every thing and found the infection, they put me on antibiotics and sent me home with the instructions to take it easy and not get to active in order to let my body help the antibiotics heal the infection so that it doesn't get worse and cause problems with the pregnancy. On the other hand we found out that Cherokee (my little sister) is also pregnant, Sadly I fear for the baby shes carrying, not that she would intentionally hurt it, but shes not growing up fast enough, she is still partying, smoking drinking, doing drugs, that poor child has already been to 2 party's that I know of sense she's told us she found out. Jason's n employment ran out this month meaning that we are now living solely no moms income, I wish it was easier for me to find a job right now so that I could help her with the bills, Jason is looking for a trucking job, so assuming he gets one he and Nate will be going over the road making good money but he'll never be home...at the moment we're not so sure that's exactly a bad thing, hes entered this state of depression where he realizes hes broke but he wants to spend what little money he gets on things that do him no good, he takes out payday loans and tell moms hes going to use it for bills then goes out and buys a phone he doesn't need and spends it on everything but the bills, poor mom is about at her wits ends and their nothing I can do for her to make it better, and that makes me sad. I've decided that after I have the baby and out of school I'm gonna stay with mom after I get a job, and help her out a little, but I think first we may need to look into finding a place that is slightly larger for about the same price, or even less would be better, I think for now that's what I'm gonna concentrate on finding for her, I think she'll like that.